


The Mau of The Shire

by thehyperactivesammich



Series: Thorin Oakenshield and Compurrnay [2]
Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Cats, Gen, Thorin POV, Yeah you read that right, idek guys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-10
Updated: 2013-04-10
Packaged: 2017-12-08 01:48:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 790
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/755583
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thehyperactivesammich/pseuds/thehyperactivesammich
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Strange Bearded Robed Man was in The Shire today. Time for some pain.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Mau of The Shire

**Author's Note:**

> Thorin POV for meg because she's currently drowning in work and I don't envy her.
> 
> I don't particularly like this piece-but kitty!dwarves are kitty!dwarves.
> 
> Enjoy you guys.

xxxxxxxxxx

They were a lot of words Thorin, most majestic and badass cat on the planet, liked to hear spill from his owner's mouth.

"Gandalf, what time are you picking up Thranduil and Legolas?" was in the top five. "Time for dinner!" was also a good one.

Also among his favorites were, "Goodnight you guys" (which meant sleeping curled up Bilbo, SCORE!) and "Thrandy, no! BAD DOG!"

But his absolute favorite happened in the mornings, when Bilbo would scoop Thorin up in his arms and say "Time for work, guys."

That phrase marked the days when Thorin got to leave the clowder behind, got to put his Ruling Majesticness away and curl up on top of bookshelves, uninterrupted by any of the idiots he led (most days).

Unless, of course, Fìli and Kìli were also coming along. Because then he had to spend all day batting them over the head to keep them in line and making sure-

He was getting ahead of himself. That was a different story for a different day.

xxxxxxxxxx

Thorin loved The Shire.

There were plenty of high places in the bookshop a cat could curl up in and relax while simultaneously be able to hear/see anyone who came through the door.

(Thorin had to make sure no one hurt his owner. Potential threats needed to be neutralized, after all).

Customers loved to pet him and the other cats, feed them treats and such (although Thorin kept away from small children. They PULLED his fur) and just sort of coo over them.

Thorin could also choose to spend the day napping in Bilbo's lap and following the human around (protecting him, of course!) with minimal teasing. It was a glorious respite from his unruly Company.

And finally, the best part about The Shire?

No bloody Thranduil or that menacing terror Azog. Not even Sauron, that dimwitted human child, came to the bookstore. Which meant no Nazghuls, either.

It always amounted up to a wonderful vacation away from the hazards of home.

(Of course, he knew, when he did return, he'd have to clean up whatever mess Fìli and Kìli got into today, lead the Company, and just be an all-around badass cat).

Yes, Thorin did love the Shire, very much.

Unfortunately...there were also downfalls to being at the Shire.

For example:

That blasted human Pippin, who always picked him when he was in reach and squeezed him tightly. Too tightly.

The human who the Company sometimes went to visit who always made him uncomfortable, and his disapproving (and funny looking) Corgi, Lindir, who occasionally came to The Shire to talk at length with Bilbo.

The fact that there was a 99% chance that his cuddles time in Bilbo's lap would be disturbed by Some Event Of Great Importance.

But mainly...the human with the strange hair and beard who always wore white robes and sneered at everything that moved.

For this man made Bilbo uncomfortable, and NO ONE made Bilbo uncomfortable unless they wanted to meet their doom by the Company's claws.

xxxxxxxxxx

Strange Bearded Robed Man was in The Shire today.

Thorin hissed from his perch on top of a bookshelf, tail curling as his eyes narrowed at his prey. Taking in his surroundings, he quickly looked for his clowder mates to ensure they wouldn't get hurt in the crossfire.

Across the aisle, Oin was snoozing and ignoring the world. Bofur was in the children's section, soaking up attention from awestruck kids.

Thorin felt his whiskers twirl up in a smirk. Right. Time for some pain.

The Egyptian Mau stood up and stretched, prowling his way to the front of the store by jumping from book shelf to book shelf.

Bilbo and Strange Bearded Robed Man were arguing. Bilbo looked closed to tears.

Thorin hissed. Unacceptable. The rest of the clowder would agree, of course. But as leader, well, he had to do his duty.

Pity Dwalin wasn't here to help up. Strange Bearded Robed Man would have run for his life, probably crying the entire time.

Next time, then.

Thorin hopped over to the last bookcase and slowly slunk his way forward, always keeping his prey in sight.

He had to time this right.

Not yet...not yet...not yet...not yet...now!

With a hiss and a yowl, Thorin launched himself at his prey. He practically cackled when his claws caught in beard and ripped it away. He could hear Strange Bearded Robed Man's yelps of pain, and yowled, "FOR THE SHIRE!" As his claws dug into skin.

"Thorin, no!" Bilbo yelped, and the Mau instantly dropped off Strange Bearded Robed Man, gave Bilbo a look, and reluctantly slunk off.

The battle would have to be won another day, then.


End file.
